The Rules of the Inquiry into the Banks

#1 The first rule of the inquiry, is you do not enquire about the inquiry!

#2 The second rule of the inquiry, is you DO NOT enquire about the inquiry!

#3 – If someone says stop, feels peckish, goes to the bathroom, cites the national interest or the vulnerability of the economy the inquiry is over.

#4 – There are two sides at least to an inquiry. All sides are entitled to legal counsel at the taxpayers expense.

#5 – One Inquiry at a time.

#6 – No loud shirts, no Hawaiian shorts, no home-made shoes, no sandals.

#7 – The Inquiry will go on as long as it has to.

#8 – If this is your first time at the Inquiry, you have to answer. Unless, of course, you don’t feel like it, which is ok cos we don’t feel like enquiring into this either. It’s just that public opinion made us feel we had to seem like we were doing something.

*Hearing about John Gormley’s defence of the government’s Enquiry into the banks that “It will not be secret, it will be held in private” So the notion that it’s not a secret, you just can’t talk about it to anyone else lead me to the above.