Major Irish Political party unveils new details about party policy

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The Party has in response to much media comment about their lack of detail unveiled new details about it’s new Transport policy.

The party has revealed that the policy when released will be Mauve coloured with a covering exclusively provided by Moleskine, lightly scented with a hint of  lilac and the reliving of a child’s summer in Tuscany evoking memories of open top cars and sunlight dancing on upturned faces as the wind fingers at pace through their hair. The text will be bold in places but otherwise well behaved and quite plain. In adherence to the party’s commitment to diversity the text will range in size from 40 pt to 2 pt*. Fonts to be used are not 100% written in stone, but Calibri, Arial and Times New Roman will feature prominently.

The party can confirm that there will be no paragraphs of a length more than 4 sentences and with excessive usage of bullet points throughout. Several pages will consist of nothing but images of the party leader and party members pretending to be ordinary members of the public. As this is a transport policy there will be further pages devoted to images of trains, buses and cars with some bridges and roads featured too.

The policy has been described as very forward looking by those who have read it (including family members of those who wrote it and who had to be heavily prompted in their responses when doing so) with a sense of the determination of Central American strong man in its follow through.

Pressed by reporters as to the content of the policy document the party said that its contents would be profound and far reaching and affecting every aspect of transport experience. There will be extensive recourse to references to studies of similar sounding but unrelated academic studies of mice travelling on buses.

Asked what the policy would do the answer was that the policy would be transformational and make the lives of everyone it touched better. At this point the gathered media proceeded to tear their eyebrows off. All in all it was deemed the most successful policy launch that day by any party.

* (a footnote at the base of the last page indicating that all commitments are subject to the prevailing economic climate being favourable to the showering of gold coins on the populous)

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